nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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