yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize