What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
