Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
