it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
