What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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