I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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