And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
