She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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