this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
His nipple licking is glorious
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