just come out here and I will go home with you...
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Randomize
