She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Randomize
