There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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