apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
