Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
