Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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