He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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