I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
