i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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