We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
