Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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