I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize