I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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