I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
