Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize