You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
