so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
