we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
