I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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