through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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