First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
