My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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