Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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