butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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