Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
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Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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