he thought i was a dude.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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