She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
