Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
