Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Enjoy the penises
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
