He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
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im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
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Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.