so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?