I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
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so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
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Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.