3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?