Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

I can text with my tongue

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(716): I can text with my tongue http://tfl.nu/gbw1

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(818): View more from California

Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.

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(818): Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished. http://tfl.nu/bnef

Replies (1) Good night (2043) Bad night (378) Order T-Shirt
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(760): View more from California

Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.

(912): View more from Georgia

What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?

(760): View more from California

I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.

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(760): Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool. (912): What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar? (760): I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out. http://tfl.nu/o1sk

Replies (26) Good night (4510) Bad night (628)
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(831): View more from California

I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.

(1-831): View more from California

Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable

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(831): I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines. (1-831): Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable http://tfl.nu/f2l0

Replies (15) Good night (3254) Bad night (521)
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(815): View more from Illinois

I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating

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(815): I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating http://tfl.nu/k15b

Replies (30) Good night (969) Bad night (6847) Order T-Shirt
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(619): View more from California

Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?

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(619): Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it? http://tfl.nu/4s1d

Replies (34) Good night (1893) Bad night (4457) Order T-Shirt
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(206): View more from Washington

Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.

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(206): Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life. http://tfl.nu/nb15

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(806): View more from Texas

I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza

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(806): I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza http://tfl.nu/jih1

Replies (3) Good night (1360) Bad night (644) Order T-Shirt
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(817): View more from Texas

I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.

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(817): I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information. http://tfl.nu/ct01

Replies (3) Good night (1040) Bad night (604) Order T-Shirt
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(248): View more from Michigan

Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.

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(248): Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/ylim

Replies (3) Good night (1153) Bad night (443) Order T-Shirt
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(530): View more from California

Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?

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(530): Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river? http://tfl.nu/gd5u

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(703): View more from Virginia

Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex

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(703): Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex http://tfl.nu/1fn0

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!

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(+44): THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!! http://tfl.nu/qwat

Replies (9) Good night (917) Bad night (249)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.

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(+44): I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy. http://tfl.nu/urw4

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(203): View more from Connecticut

They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.

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(203): They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex. http://tfl.nu/k0sh

Replies (3) Good night (513) Bad night (300)

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