Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize