I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize