My hair reeks of homosexuality.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
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you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
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Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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