The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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