How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
