Just mADE A PArabola og urine
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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