Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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