Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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