Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
