I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
