Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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