If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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