trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
