So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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