so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
