on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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