What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
This is my gift to your gina
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
