Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
