Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
