my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
