And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
