I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
